Many times in life, we are hurt by a person or something happens that causes us to feel threatened, rejected or shamed. In these cases, our trust is broken. How do we cope and what can we do to restore this trust? Watch this week’s Trust Minute with Alan Heller.
The other day, Pauly and I had to use all the communication skills we had just taught. She said sometimes she talks or asks questions just to reach out or get close to me. In our workshops, we call this “small talk” or the “conversive” style. I think she’s rehashing...
CONTRACTING FOR TIME When things become overheated in a discussion it's helpful to take a break. We call this contracting for time. We make an appointment just like you would for a doctor or dentist. But rather an appointment with your doctor, this appointment is with...
This past week I was meeting with a couple, who needed someone to meet with them to encourage, listen and just be there for them. I called the pastor, and I spoke with his voice mail. I called another pastor from the same church, he was going off on a missions trip,...
What exactly does it mean to "close the loop"? In this week's Marriage Minute, we explore the idea of actively listening and communicating with one another. There are a few key factors to consider when looking to communicate better with your spouse:...
The 7 Areas of Life We are now going to talk about the Physical area of life. This is just one of The Seven Areas of Life we have been looking at. It is important to get our cues from the word of God as well as those who are experts in this area. As we discussed...
This segment is focused on how to grow ourselves in the psychological and intellectual area. There are many ways to do this on a personal and relationship level, like reading a new book to a trip to the theater.
It is so important to write down your goals because it is so easy to forget what you said you were going to do. Personal goals seem to be harder in comparison to work goals, which are tied to money, time and demands of a job, which provide built-in accountability. Review each area and write down your goals in each.
Recreation, Romance, and Renewal. Time to play, time to pray about goals, and focus your lives individually and together. Couples should make time to have a romantic candlelight dinner and some fireworks in the bedroom without kids or chores. Over years of Christian couples and life coaching, we have found that a Triple R Weekend will refresh your marriage.
What does it mean to be a good father? One of Billy Graham’s regrets. How do we deal with our regrets?
“Financial” refers to the source of provision for the needs of your family. This section includes discussion around your income, learning to be content with what you have, learning how to be abased and to abound, stewardship, budget planning to stay debt-free, a giving plan with which the couple agrees, investing, finding financial harmony within your family, and emergency financial planning.
This segment highlights the social balance in ministry and family relationships. This includes: keeping relationships in proper priority, mutual accountability, being involved in a local body, being involved in people’s lives, using our spiritual gifts, reaching out to non-Christians, humor and the ability to have fun and involvement in your community.
This segment is focused on the wholesome acceptance of the way God made you: on an adequate, well-balanced diet, free from gluttony, sexual purity, proper personal hygiene, proper exercise (especially emphasizing cardiovascular fitness to avoid unnecessary risk of heart attack), adequate sleep, freedom from laziness and freedom from drunkenness.
Write down all 7 segments and your corresponding goals. Then, pick your top two goals to accomplish this year. No need to feel overwhelmed by all seven areas. Once you accomplish your top two goals, try two more.
Over years of Christian couples counseling, we have found it helpful to view life in segments and make goals in each segment that matches Christian biblical principles. You can keep a balanced life if you tend to the garden of each of these 7 areas. I will explain each one in more detail as the counseling videos progress.
Today we talk about the Purpose and Mission of Christian couples counseling. To summarize, these are the following: 1. To provide resources for couples to have thriving healthy marriages that reflect the relationship between Christ and His church. 2. To provide...
Here is a communication skill we teach during our workshops and Phoenix couples counseling therapies. Read how to “Close the Loop” and to actively listen to one another.
Here are three ways that will help you be ready to minister to people who need help with marriage counseling or any other life crises.
Understanding each other is the secret to a happy marriage. Family counseling always involves listening to and hearing what the other person’s needs are. Here is a real life tip.
These past few months I have seen a few funerals. It makes you think how you would live your life. Here are some great ideas from Erma Bombeck about how to live life well... IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying...
How Can Dealing with Unmet Expectations Help in Marriage Counseling? One of the foundational problems we see frequently in marriage counseling, is unmet expectations. Its natural to have some healthy expectations of your partner. But often problems arise when we...
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