In this week's episode, Alan and Pauly discuss friendship, or "comradeship." In marriage, it's important to share the bedroom and the boardroom. Learn more about how to improve the quality of your friendship in your relationship.
Marriage Counseling
Introduction to Our Marital Mystery Tour
In this episode, Alan and Pauly Heller welcome you to join them in their journey through the Marital Mystery Tour. In the coming weeks, they will guide you through the rich adventures that marriage brings. Learn more about how the Marital Mystery Tour originated and...
Unmet Expectations in Relationships
In this week's podcast, we explore what to do when you have unrealistic expectations. One of the foundational problems we see frequently in marriage counseling, is unmet expectations. Its natural to have some healthy expectations of your partner. But often problems...
Trust Minute with Alan Heller: Only You Can Prevent Dragon Fires
In this week’s Trust Minute, we discuss how to prevent bad habits from forming and taking over our lives.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Rethinking How You Think
Success, power, money, and beauty are all things we think will make us happy. But what if you manage to have all these things, but you’re still unhappy? Do you feel like there’s still something missing? Watch this week’s Trust Minute with Alan Heller to learn about the dangers and emptiness that come with success.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Emptiness of Success
Success, power, money, and beauty are all things we think will make us happy. But what if you manage to have all these things, but you’re still unhappy? Do you feel like there’s still something missing? Watch this week’s Trust Minute with Alan Heller to learn about the dangers and emptiness that come with success.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Idolatry of Applause
Did you know that you might be facing a battle with idolatry and not even know it? At first, idols (those things in our life that we put ahead of God) appear harmless and sometimes even beneficial. Read this week’s blog to learn more about these sly idols and how to avoid them
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Forgive, Release, Let Go
In this week’s Trust Minute, we discuss how to forgive, release and let go of life’s pains.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Vows, Judgements, and Generalizations
No one likes to get hurt, but sometimes, it happens. When our trust is broken or someone hurts us, we might make judgments that push others away. Read this week’s article on how to make the right vows, judgments, and generalizations in life to help resolve these issues.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Pain is Inevitable but Misery is Optional
Do you know we can choose misery or joy? Sometimes life brings us down, but it’s up to us how we deal with it. To learn more, watch this week’s Trust Minute with Alan Heller.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Vertical & Horizontal Trust
Many times in life, we are hurt by a person or something happens that causes us to feel threatened, rejected or shamed. In these cases, our trust is broken. Having vertical trust (trust in God) allows us to have an unbreakable trust. To learn more, watch this week’s Trust Minute with Alan Heller.
Trust Minute with Alan Heller – Why Trust is Essential
Many times in life, we are hurt by a person or something happens that causes us to feel threatened, rejected or shamed. In these cases, our trust is broken. How do we cope and what can we do to restore this trust? Watch this week’s Trust Minute with Alan Heller.
Tips for Communicating with your Spouse
The other day, Pauly and I had to use all the communication skills we had just taught. She said sometimes she talks or asks questions just to reach out or get close to me. In our workshops, we call this “small talk” or the “conversive” style. I think she’s rehashing...
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Expectations Take a Break
CONTRACTING FOR TIME When things become overheated in a discussion it's helpful to take a break. We call this contracting for time. We make an appointment just like you would for a doctor or dentist. But rather an appointment with your doctor, this appointment is with...
3 Ways to Help People
This past week I was meeting with a couple, who needed someone to meet with them to encourage, listen and just be there for them. I called the pastor, and I spoke with his voice mail. I called another pastor from the same church, he was going off on a missions trip,...
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Closing the Loop
What exactly does it mean to "close the loop"? In this week's Marriage Minute, we explore the idea of actively listening and communicating with one another. There are a few key factors to consider when looking to communicate better with your spouse:...
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Psychological Area
This segment is focused on how to grow ourselves in the psychological and intellectual area. There are many ways to do this on a personal and relationship level, like reading a new book to a trip to the theater.
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Writing Smart Goals
It is so important to write down your goals because it is so easy to forget what you said you were going to do. Personal goals seem to be harder in comparison to work goals, which are tied to money, time and demands of a job, which provide built-in accountability. Review each area and write down your goals in each.
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Refresh your Marriage
Recreation, Romance, and Renewal. Time to play, time to pray about goals, and focus your lives individually and together. Couples should make time to have a romantic candlelight dinner and some fireworks in the bedroom without kids or chores. Over years of Christian couples and life coaching, we have found that a Triple R Weekend will refresh your marriage.
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Financial Harmony
“Financial” refers to the source of provision for the needs of your family. This section includes discussion around your income, learning to be content with what you have, learning how to be abased and to abound, stewardship, budget planning to stay debt-free, a giving plan with which the couple agrees, investing, finding financial harmony within your family, and emergency financial planning.
Marriage Minute with Alan Heller – Social Balance
This segment highlights the social balance in ministry and family relationships. This includes: keeping relationships in proper priority, mutual accountability, being involved in a local body, being involved in people’s lives, using our spiritual gifts, reaching out to non-Christians, humor and the ability to have fun and involvement in your community.