CONTRACTING FOR TIME When things become overheated in a discussion it's helpful to take a break. We call this contracting for time. We make an appointment just like you would for a doctor or dentist. But rather an appointment with your doctor, this...
What exactly does it mean to "close the loop"? In this week's Marriage Minute, we explore the idea of actively listening and communicating with one another. There are a few key factors to consider when looking to communicate better with your spouse:...
This segment is focused on how to grow ourselves in the psychological and intellectual area. There are many ways to do this on a personal and relationship level, like reading a new book to a trip to the theater.
It is so important to write down your goals because it is so easy to forget what you said you were going to do. Personal goals seem to be harder in comparison to work goals, which are tied to money, time and demands of a job, which provide built-in accountability. Review each area and write down your goals in each.
Recreation, Romance, and Renewal. Time to play, time to pray about goals, and focus your lives individually and together. Couples should make time to have a romantic candlelight dinner and some fireworks in the bedroom without kids or chores. Over years of Christian couples and life coaching, we have found that a Triple R Weekend will refresh your marriage.
“Financial” refers to the source of provision for the needs of your family. This section includes discussion around your income, learning to be content with what you have, learning how to be abased and to abound, stewardship, budget planning to stay debt-free, a giving plan with which the couple agrees, investing, finding financial harmony within your family, and emergency financial planning.
This segment highlights the social balance in ministry and family relationships. This includes: keeping relationships in proper priority, mutual accountability, being involved in a local body, being involved in people’s lives, using our spiritual gifts, reaching out to non-Christians, humor and the ability to have fun and involvement in your community.
This segment is focused on the wholesome acceptance of the way God made you: on an adequate, well-balanced diet, free from gluttony, sexual purity, proper personal hygiene, proper exercise (especially emphasizing cardiovascular fitness to avoid unnecessary risk of heart attack), adequate sleep, freedom from laziness and freedom from drunkenness.
Write down all 7 segments and your corresponding goals. Then, pick your top two goals to accomplish this year. No need to feel overwhelmed by all seven areas. Once you accomplish your top two goals, try two more.
Over years of Christian couples counseling, we have found it helpful to view life in segments and make goals in each segment that matches Christian biblical principles. You can keep a balanced life if you tend to the garden of each of these 7 areas. I will explain each one in more detail as the counseling videos progress.