How do you release your pain to God and forgive others for the pain you have experienced in the past or in your present situation?
Why is forgiveness important? How do we begin to trust someone when they have hurt us so badly?
The book of Ephesians tells us to forgive others as God has forgiven us.
We need to forgive to be free. Trust is built on actions and behaviors that allow us to be able to trust another person. If their behavior does not match their words, it is hard for us to believe they are trustworthy.
As we say in our book on trust we need to release the hurt to God in order to have the freedom to start to trust. This is done by faith. Our feelings may or may not line up with this truth. But our trust is in the trustworthiness of God and His word not in our feelings, or what someone may say.
In this week’s Trust Minute, we discuss how to forgive, release and let go of life’s pains.
When is Forgiveness Necessary?
You may have a deep wound emotionally from a teacher, parent or friend who let you down or said something to reject you. It might be a physical wound from the past, like a parent who yelled or got physical and therefore you made a vow and said to yourself, “I will never trust this parent again” or, “I will never be like them.”
Unfortunately, the more we make that vow the more we end up doing the very thing we say we won’t do. This may be unconscious or we may realize that we have said this to ourselves. Either way, this becomes our focus, and this is what we end up being.
The ability to forgive and let go of these past pains is what helps us begin the healing process. We may need a trusted friend to talk about this with or a counselor that can help us work through this to the point of our heart being healed.
We cannot change the past, but we can change our thoughts and attitude toward that event or hurt that was laid upon us. Sometimes, it is a circumstance that happens to us. It is not anyone’s fault, per se, but an accident happens, and we get hurt physically or emotionally. Our reaction may be to get angry and cover up our hurt with lashing out to others or ourselves, but this only makes things worse.
How to Let Go
We need to confess our hurt and forgive and let go of it to the Lord. It may take time.
A lot more time than we want. But we can do it if we have patience. Think of a hurt that you have had in your past. Does it still cause emotional pain? Does it still effect your life today? Do you react to it to the point that it effects your life and work and relationships?
It is like the red light on your dash board of your car. You can ignore it or put a piece of tape over it but the red light that is telling you something is wrong with the engine will not go away till it is fixed. In the same way, we need to look at our negative emotions that come to the surface as the red light. Something needs to be fixed in us.
In “Learning How to Trust” we have a chapter called, “If it is going to be, it starts with me.” That is that we have to take responsibility for our actions and reactions to the pain laid upon us or the circumstances that are not fair or we don’t like.
Some continue to blame parents for something that was done thirty years ago. Will you let it go or will they control you for the rest of your life with detrimental effects.
Will the boss or coworker that hurt you be the one that makes you stumble or holds you back even today?
Take the time to be aware and evaluated your past hurt. Pray and forgive and let go of that hurt. Allow God to take it and put it on the cross once and for all.
You will find freedom if you do.