What Happens When Someone Breaks Your Trust?
In our Learning How to Trust Book, we talk about the need for trust and how to get it back once it has been broken. Many times in life, we are hurt by a person or something happens that causes us to feel threatened, rejected or shamed. In these cases, our trust is broken.
Having your trust broken is like being in an earthquake. The ground in the building which you normally trust to be – excuse the pun – rock solid, is now moving and shaking. Depending on how big the earthquake is, will depend on how much your trust is shaken in that moment.
The same was true when as a child or teen we were hurt, or something happened out of our control. Like a parent leaving, or a death that was unexpected in the family. These major events can cause trauma. Although we would like everything to remain the same, so we can trust everything will be ok, life doesn’t always work that way.
The Aftermath of Broken Trust
Have you built up a wall around your heart? Do you not trust someone before they can break your trust? Have you pulled away because the pain is too great?
As we take a tour of the factors that enter into the lack of trust, we will also take some time to talk about what can restore trust. One factor is time. It takes time to restore trust when it is shattered. It also requires you to ask questions like: How do I cope when I have had my trust broken? Do I pull away or lash out? Do I move in and try and restore it, or do I hang back and avoid it until I become angry or totally withdrawn? Do I emotionally freeze?
Watch this week’s Trust Minute to explore the idea of why trust is essential in relationships:
The Restoration of Trust
We cover a lot of these factors in Learning How to Trust, as we introduce you to Princess Amanda and the Dragon Eggs that she keeps.
Throughout the Application Guide in the book, we ask you to address this question in hopes the outcomes will help you zero in on the issues.
Which of the following circumstances can you relate to, and why?
- Have you been rejected by another person through a divorce, causing you to give up on meaningful relationships?
- Were you snubbed by a group of church people, causing you to forsake church membership altogether?
- Were you hurt by an insensitive pastor, causing you to lose your trust in all pastors?
- Pastors, have you been hurt by an elder board or your congregation, causing you to lose trust in them in some area?
- Were you abused in some way by another person, causing you to choose never to trust in people again?
- As a member of a minority group, have you been hurt or slighted by the ruling majority, causing you to lose trust in them?
- Do you feel that God has let you down in some way, and now you cannot even trust Him, although you know in your heart you need to?